


May No Distance Come Between

by die_traumerei



Series: The Triple Point [6]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe of an Alternate Universe, Angst, Cuddles, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Injuries, Multi, Nonbinary Bucky Barnes, Nonbinary Character, Polyamory, past self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:42:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6324280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/die_traumerei/pseuds/die_traumerei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate universe take on Strike Gold Along This Shore -- where Bucky only meets Steve and Peggy many years later, after they have a daughter. The inevitable happens, though in its own way.</p><p>(This will probably not make a bit of sense unless you've read Strike Gold, I'm afraid.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bucky is so suave you guys

**Author's Note:**

> Because I don't have enough of this universe eating my mind. Because I love kid!fic and hate that it usually results in someone getting fridged. Because I REALLY REALLY love writing this OT3. Because, eh, why not?
> 
> I'll add chapters/ficlets as they get written (and/or work through my backlog of several shorts as I get time), which means a lot of this will wind up out of order -- I'll try to clarify when a particular story is set as I post it.
> 
> In keeping with the theme, the title is from another Garnet Rogers song, "All That Is".

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Bucky groaned, as the awkward box went tumbling to the ground. At least it was just bedding. Which was now spilled out across the hallway.  
  
“Everything okay?”  
  
Bucky turned around to apologize to the poor bastard who had been trying to come up the stairs, and nearly died of heart failure.  
  
The _single most beautiful human being he had ever seen_ was standing behind him. A perfect, golden-haired Adonis.  
  
“Hrnk,” Bucky said, and then forced his circulatory system to work again and get some blood to his brain. “Uh, sorry. I'm okay, it's just...sorry.”  
  
“Hey, no problem,” the Adonis said, and reached past Bucky to clear a path. He finished coming up the stairs ( _his tits bounced oh sweet blessed every deity_ Bucky wanted to motorboat him _so bad_ ), and bent over, sadly facing Bucky, and gathered Bucky's big feather comforter into his arms.  
  
'Leave it and take me now upon it' was probably a bad thing to say, and Bucky didn't, just gathered up a stack of pillowcases and trailed the guy.  
  
“I'm 119A,” he said. “You?”  
  
They lived on the same floor. A large portion of Bucky's normally very-intelligent brain was reduced to incoherent screeching. “119B,” he managed. “Uh. I promise I won't be blocking the stairs forever.”  
  
Sweet-tits Adonis laughed, and started walking to Bucky's door. “It's okay, really. You need help? I'm good at carrying heavy shit.”  
  
Bucky did not doubt that for one moment. “Thanks, but the movers'll be here soon – I just wanted to bring a few things myself. Y'know, make sure I had something to sleep under tonight.” And then I met you and solved that problem, he did not say, because Bucky was too good for his own good.  
  
“Cool. Hey, if you're free, come over for lunch,” Steve invited. “You can meet Peggy – uh, my wife.” He smiled, suddenly abashed, and ran one hand through his hair. “And we've got a baby, but she's pretty quiet, hopefully she won't keep you up.”  
  
Sadly, Bucky would have to decline lunch, as he had to go throw himself out of a window.  
  
“That's really kind of you, are you sure?” Bucky asked, because he was well-brought-up. (And then his mind skidded away from his parents, because no.)  
  
“Of course. Probably just sandwiches, if that's okay?”  
  
“That'll be great – uh, sorry, didn't catch your name?”  
  
Sugar Tits McMarriedToAWoman laughed and held his hand out. “Sorry. Steve Rogers.”  
  
“James Barnes. But everyone calls me Bucky,” he said, shaking Steve's perfect hand. He was, obscurely, kind of glad his right hand was the real one. There was no way Steve could have missed the metal prosthetic – Bucky was wearing short sleeves for God's sake – but he hadn't said anything, and Bucky hadn't caught him staring yet. Because he was perfect.  
  
“Hey, I'll let you finish moving in. But come by whenever you want, we'll be in all day. And don't be shy about asking if you need anything,” Steve said, and Bucky promised he wouldn't, and he'd be there for lunch, and he ducked into his apartment and quietly lay down on his duvet and silently screamed for, oh, a good minute or more.  
  
The movers came and got his sunny little one-bedroom full of boxes and chaos and left, and Bucky got a good start on unpacking before he judged it to be basically lunchtime.  
  
He felt vaguely terrible for showing up empty-handed, and also for sort of hoping that he would hate the woman who got to marry Steve. He was better than this, normally.  
  
Bucky knocked on the door, and it was opened within moments by – okay, Steve was no longer the most beautiful human being he had ever seen. He had been overtaken. Steve who? Muscular blonds had nothing on this gorgeous woman in a retro ditty-print dress, her hair curling around her face.  
  
For her makeup tips alone, Bucky would go to the ends of the earth for her.  
  
“Hi! You must be Bucky – Steve said he met you earlier. C'mon in,” she said, stepping aside so that when Bucky died, he could at least land face-first in their apartment.  
  
“Hi,” he said, and hoped he was at least mildly charming. “I really hope I'm not imposing.”  
  
“You aren't at all,” she promised. “Come on, Steve and Sarah are in the kitchen.”  
  
Bucky wondered if he was going to meet a third stunningly beautiful human being, before he remembered – right. Sarah was probably the baby. He followed Peggy through the living room (which was, thankfully, pretty messy and looked comfy and lived-in and wasn't also perfect beyond human imagination) into a kitchen that was a good bit bigger than his.  
  
Steve was at the counter, putting out cold cuts, and was wearing a brightly-patterned baby sling. “Hey!” he said. “How was moving in?”  
  
“Amazing. Money solves _some_ problems,” Bucky said. “Thanks for having me over, by the way, I owe you.”  
  
Steve waved it away. “Remember this and try not to hate us too much when Sarah starts crying at two AM,” he said, and smiled down at a little shriek coming from his chest. “Yeah, I'm talking about you,” he informed the little bundle.  
  
Bucky couldn't help but melt. He came over and peered down and – okay. The fact that they had a beautiful baby was hardly surprising. “Hi,” he said softly. “You're Sarah, right?”  
  
She grinned up at him, and Bucky decided that Steve and Peggy were both passe, and he had a new creature to adore. “Hi, sweetie,” he said, and actually ascended into heaven when she giggled at him.  
  
Steve blinked in surprise. “Wow, she really likes you. It normally takes a few tries for her to warm up to people.”  
  
“Well, she's obviously very intelligent,” Bucky said, and exchanged a smile with Steve. “Can I help with anything?”  
  
“Hell no, you've been moving all day. What kind of sandwich d'you want? We've got turkey, ham and cheddar. Oh, and I got some pumpernickel rolls if you want that? Or multigrain.” Steve looked at the selection, and then looked at Bucky. “We might be a little bit hipster.”  
  
“A little?” Peggy asked dryly, reaching past him to snag one of the rolls for herself, and started to construct a sandwich.  
  
“I have tattoos because _I am a tattoo artist_ ,” Steve said with great dignity, and indeed, his arms were covered in beautiful art. His neck, too – blue and red roses, with Sarah's name under them.  
  
Oh, Christ. These were _good people_. Bucky was going to cry.  
  
He managed to fight Steve into letting him make his own sandwich, but lost the battle to put Steve's together for him, since he had to work around the baby, and they settled down around a tiny kitchen table.  
  
It was the usual conversation to begin with – Bucky learned that Steve and Peggy had been married for eight years, Steve was a native New Yorker and a tattoo artist, and Peggy ran the shop. Bucky told them a little about working for Roxxon Industries, working with security software, and a little more about how he'd grown up in Indiana and made a break for New York as soon as humanly possible.  
  
He didn't tell them about his arm, deeming it a little too early. He _definitely_ didn't tell them about sometimes being a they. Bucky figured the chances of them ditching him over it were slim, but still. Not a chance he was willing to take. Besides, he was too fucking chicken to present as enby outside of his apartment basically all of the time, so it might not ever come up.  
  
The conversation was easy, and Steve and Peggy were friendly. Bucky made them promise to come over for dinner – and bring Sarah too – as soon as he was able to host.  
  
He didn't want to linger – and he really did need to get a start on unpacking – so bid them goodbye soon after he finished eating. “Hey,” he said quietly to Peggy, as she walked him to the door. “Really, seriously don't worry if Sarah cries or anything. She's a baby, it's what they do, I won't ever mind, I promise.” Bucky smiled a little, trying to offer friendship back as hard as he could. “And if you ever need a babysitter, I'm your guy. I promise, this is safe for holding little ones,” he said, holding out his left arm and twisting the wrist.  
  
Peggy favored him with a sweet smile. “I never doubted. And thanks, Bucky. It's nice to know back-up is just across the hall.”  
  
Bucky crossed the short space to his own apartment and let himself in. Crushes were all well and good, and new friends were the best, but he had work to do, and it was easy to concentrate on that. Well, easy-ish.


	2. These scars on my body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this chapter discusses Bucky's past self-harm pretty explicitly. It's a short 'un, and you won't miss anything if you need to skip it. Please take care of yourselves, my loves <3
> 
> It is set after Bucky starts a relationship with Steve and Peggy.

“Hey,” Steve said, and kissed the silvery scars just visible on Bucky's chest. “Oh,” he murmured, tracing them down to his stomach, and the tops of his thighs. “Oh, my sweetheart.”  
  
Peggy just curled around him, cradling his head on her chest. “Bucky, Bucky, oh love.”  
  
Bucky smiled, and nuzzled her breast, one hand falling to stroke Steve's hair. “Don't be like that. It was years ago.”  
  
“Still. You poor thing, to feel that way.” Peggy kissed his forehead. “Precious you.”  
  
Steve kissed his belly softly. “Oh, honey.”  
  
“It was when I came out to my parents. As nonbinary. They...didn't take it well.”  
  
Steve hugged his legs tightly, and Bucky cupped his cheek in one hand. “I don't...it wasn't such a great time to be me,” he said. “And they, they didn't want anything to do with m-me. It was just...” He sighed, and touched a scar on his chest. “I hated this body so much.”  
  
Peggy made a soft sound, and kissed him. “I love your body, and the person in it,” she said, sounding near tears.  
  
“Hey, hey. No, don't be sad, pretty Peggy-O,” Bucky soothed. “I'm comfortable in my skin now.” Well, mostly. “Oh, beauties, don't be so sad. C'mon up here, Rogers,” he urged, and was soon sandwiched between lovers. “Mmm, better,” he announced, and Steve laughed and kissed him.  
  
“I love you,” he murmured into Bucky's ear, and then Peggy was kissing his chest, and Bucky sighed, snuggling between them.  
  
“Love you both,” he murmured, feeling them wrap around him. His body was okay. Better, when it was being held by lovers.


	3. In Which We Are All Jealous of Bucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also pretty clearly set after they all get together.
> 
> Note: Bucky is super uncomfortable with being NB, at least as his story begins in this 'verse. This will be gone into, but just be forewarned. They aren't self-hating, more very shy and uncertain.

“So what did you think the first time you saw me?” Bucky teased, more than a little tipsy. They were sprawled on the messy bed with their lovers – their _lovers_ , holy shit – feeling sweet and soft in satin pyjamas, and with not a little bit of bourbon inside them.

“Honestly?” Steve laughed, and traced the lace going across Bucky's chest. “My first view was of the back of your legs and your ass, and what a view it was, I might add.”

“You're so classy,” Peggy said dryly.

“Well, I wanted to motorboat you, so we're kinda even,” Bucky admitted, and Steve fell over he was laughing so hard. “Don't _mock_ me,” Bucky wailed. “I was in _love_.”

“You dweeb,” Steve said affectionately, and pinched Bucky's stomach. “What'd you think when you saw Peggy?”

“That I had found a new most gorgeous person in the world,” Bucky admitted, and Peggy cooed, pressing a kiss to their ear. “And also that I wanted to motorboat you.”

“I'm not stopping you,” Peggy said, and Bucky flipped her over, buried their face in her chest, and lived out all of their wildest dreams at once.

“Welp, I can die happy,” they announced to the world, taking advantage of their position to pillow their head on Peggy's bare chest.

Steve laughed, and kissed their hip. “Peg, what did you think of Bucky,” he teased, and Peggy groaned.

“What? _What_?” Bucky demanded, and Peggy hid under a pillow. “Tell me!”

“No! Because it's awful and you'll feel awful.”

“I'll shove my face in your tits again if I do,” they promised, and gently nudged the pillow away. “Hey, beautiful,” they murmured, and leaned up for a kiss. “What is it?”

“I was annoyed,” Peggy admitted. “Sarah had been fussy all morning and I was tired and Steve came home to announce he'd invited the new neighbor to lunch and I really _did not_ want to deal with you, too.”

Bucky buried their face in Peggy's chest.

“I'm sorry,” she said, and rubbed their back. “And then you showed up and you were charming and kind and, frankly, didn't stay long, and won me over?”

Bucky laughed a little, and hugged her tightly. “I'm still sorry,” they admitted.

“Don't be, it's Steve's fault anyway.” She smiled indulgently, and petted their hair. “And it turns out he brought me home a beautiful new lover, one of the best people I've ever met, and now they're all mine."

“And mine,” Steve offered, a little pathetically.

Bucky smiled, and settled down. “I'm making you lunch tomorrow.”

“No! Oh, darling, you don't owe me anything.”

Bucky kissed between her breasts. “Maybe I want to, you ever think of that?”

“Brat.” She caressed their shoulders, cupping where their left arm should be for a moment, thumb tracing the scar there. “My pretty darling. Promise me you'll make yourself gorgeous for me tomorrow?” she requested. “If I'm getting lunch, I want it served by you at your best.”

Bucky flushed. “Promise.” Peggy and Steve doted on them when they were enby. And when they weren't, come to think of it, but there was something extra. A protectiveness, a determination to let them be happy in their body. A fierce retaliation, against anyone who had discouraged Bucky before.

They would wear a dress, they privately decided. No matter how scared they were, they'd dress up for their lovers and be beautiful.

(And they did. They were shaking like a leaf by the time Peggy wandered into the kitchen to see them in a pretty day-dress, making omelettes. They were shaking not at all after she wrapped her arms around their waist and whispered how proud she was of them, how brave and beautiful they were, and how she was gonna steal that dress, don't even try to stop me, Bucky.)


	4. How To Make A Family, Part Whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set many years after Bucky meeting Steve and Peggy; Sarah is about 5 in this little ficlet.

“Papa Bucky!” Sarah shrieked, running across the room to get scooped up and thoroughly hugged and kissed by Bucky. “Bucky, Bucky, Bucky,” she sang, and he laughed, cuddling her a little closer. “I made you a present!” she announced.

“Did you? Wow, I'm so lucky,” Bucky said, and hugged his daughter tightly. “What did you make me?”

“It's in the kitchen,” Peggy said, coming over and curling herself into Bucky's side, tilting her head up for a kiss. “Welcome home, love,” she murmured.

“Love you,” Bucky breathed back, and leaned back when he felt Steve behind him, Bucky's bag slung over his shoulder because Steve was a gentlemanly total dweeb. 

“Papa, come get your present!” Sarah demanded, and Bucky bussed her on the forehead. 

“All right! I just had to say hello to Mummy,” he promised her, and headed for the kitchen while Steve and Peggy kissed hello.

He found breakfast all set up, with his plate evident – there was a big home-made card to one side, and pieces of fruit made up a smiling face.

Bucky sat down and reached for the card, Sarah now cuddled on his lap. The front was four scribbled figures, helpfully annotated 'Mummy', 'Daddy', 'Papa Bucky' and 'Sarah'. He opened it and in block letters, presumably transcribed by Peggy, read: WELCOME HOME I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR NEW ARM LOVE and then Sarah's own scribble.

Bucky tried very hard not to mist over at the I LOVE YOU part especially, and gave her an extra big hug. “Thank you so, so, so much, little bug. I love it. I love you.” Another little hug. “I missed you  _so_ much.”

“Missed you too. Can I have your kiwi?”

Bucky laughed and promised her his share of kiwi, as Steve and Peggy joined them. Sarah got to eat while getting cuddles on his lap (a treat for both of them), and despite Bucky's protests (“Literally the  _point_ of all of this was to get a better prosthetic! So I can be  _more_ useful!”), he didn't lift a finger the whole meal, with Steve and Peggy serving him coffee, pancakes and bacon, not missing a chance to kiss his cheek, or run a hand through his hair, finger-coming the dark strands.

Bucky wondered if you could get drunk on love.

When he had begged off another helping for about the fourth time (“I am  _so full_ , Peggy, honest to God, I have an actual food baby.”), he settled back with Sarah still snuggled close, and gave her nose a little tweak. “You wanna see my new arm?”

“ _Yeah!”_

Bucky had used his left arm sparingly, under strict orders to only keep it on a few hours a day, and to ease into his usual patterns of use, but now he shrugged off the button-down he'd worn home, covering most of his arm, and let Sarah (and Peggy), see the new prosthetic.

It was more or less the same design as the old one, a little shinier and newer-looking of course, but the same metal plates that slid together as he moved his wrist and hand. “Be gentle, okay?” Bucky said. “I can feel a _lot_ more, but I'm still getting used to it.”

Sarah nodded solemnly, and reached out to very, very gently pet his forearm.

“I can feel that,” Bucky said, trying very hard not to cry in front of his daughter. (Technically step-daughter, but no one paid any attention to that.) “Hey, you want to play a game? We've gotta play it every day for a little bit, so I can practice feeling things.”

“Yeah!” Sarah said and giggled, and gave his arm another little pat.

Bucky closed his eyes and held his hand in front of her. “Pick one of my fingers and give it a little squeeze. I have to tell you which finger it is, and if I get it right, I get a treat, okay?”

Sarah nodded. “Okay,” she added, since he couldn't see her, and she reached out and wrapped her tiny hand around his thumb, squeezing gently.

“Easy! Thumb!” Bucky bragged, and Sarah clapped for him. “So, what's my prize?”

Sarah fed him a grape, and they went through the other fingers on his hand. He only got pinky wrong, but got a kiss for it, so reckoned that the reward thing had actually worked out in his favor.

The most advanced prosthetic in the world only held so much attention for so long, of course, and Sarah started to squirm about the time she had to get changed for her swimming lesson. Steve went to get her dressed and out the door (miraculously on time), while Bucky and Peggy cleaned up breakfast, and got a little alone time together.

“Hey, c'mon into the bedroom. I need to get this thing off, and there's a few things you should know about,” Bucky said, slipping an arm around Peggy's waist and kissing her cheek. She and Steve had literally flipped a coin to see who would stay home with Sarah and who would go to the hospital with Bucky, and dammit, he'd _missed_ her.

“Yeah, Steve said it works a little differently?” Peggy said as they went into the big bedroom.

“Mmm. Mostly putting it on, which you guys shouldn't have to do. Here,” he said, pulling off his t-shirt, wincing a little when it caught on his arm. “Fuck, ow.”

“Oh, baby--” she stopped herself touching his metal arm. “What can I do?”

“Get the box of wipes? Okay, the straps work exactly the same,” Bucky explained, unsnapping them and slipping the arm off with a hiss. “Oh, _God_ that's weird. Because I can feel things through it, it's like...I can feel up to the moment it's not in touch with my skin, so it feels like I'm just popping an _actual_ arm off.”

Peggy winced. “Ew.”

“Yeah. I gotta see a therapist a few times as part of the rehab,” Bucky admitted, and smiled when she kissed his cheek. “It also charges in the same way, though it's a lot more efficient,” he said, setting it on the pad the old prosthetic had used. “But see here, and here? Where the shoulder attaches to me? There are electrodes, and I gotta use a gel to improve conductivity. Which is now all over _me_.” He grabbed a wipe and gingerly cleaned his shoulder off. “Fuck, that's tender.”

Peggy frowned, and rested her fingertips just on his shoulder, examining the expanse of scarred skin. “It's pretty red.”

Bucky sighed. “The electrodes actually in me were implanted through microincisions, but my body's still getting used to them. I'll just be a little sore for a few more days.”

“Poor love.” Peggy brushed her lips over the top of his shoulder. “I can see where they went in, but it doesn't look infected or anything. Just a little puffy.”

“Yeah.” Bucky smiled, and pulled her into an embrace. “Will you laugh at me if I lie down for a little bit?”

“Never. Especially if I can lie down with you,” she scolded, and did so, arms around her lover while Bucky rested his head on her chest. “You've been through a lot. Rest whenever you want, Steve and I'll take care of everything else,” she murmured, stroking his hair.

Bucky sighed, and squeezed her around the waist a little. “Thanks. Hopefully I'll be up to full speed soon.” He smiled, and kissed between her breasts. “And I'll feel it with both arms when I hold you. It's...Peg, I can't tell you how amazing it is, and what it means to me to be able to do that.”

“I'm so, so happy for you,” she said, starting to massage his scalp with her fingertips. “I'm so proud of you, too. You're helping so many people, testing this out. I love you no matter what, you know that, but I'm _so_ happy that you can get more sensation. That you can feel me more when I hug you back.”

Bucky's smile was dazzling – Steve had been cooing similar sentiments to him all week, but from Peggy, this was a rare speech. “Love you. Love our whole family.” He blinked a little. “Never will get over getting to be a part of this.”

“Never will get over having you in my life every single day,” she murmured, and laughed, tugging his hair gently. “That's enough from me. Rest, beautiful. Steve and Sarah will be home sooner than you think, so grab your peace while you can.”

“Mmmm.” Bucky sighed, and went heavy on her, falling asleep almost immediately. Peggy stayed awake, indulging herself in stroking his hair and keeping watch to make sure all stayed well with him.


	5. Where were you in the Battle of New York?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set just after they all get together (which is coming soon, I promise!)

“How did you get this, beautiful?” Bucky asked, and kissed the scar on Peggy's shoulder. It was hard to see, so surrounded by tattoos, but it was obvious once you saw it the first time.

“The Chitauri,” she said.

“Oh my God.” Bucky kissed her shoulder again, then her neck, then her mouth. “God, Peggy.”

“It wasn't so good,” she admitted softly. “Steve and I were in the thick of it.”

“Oh, loves.” Bucky reached across the bed, arm out for Steve. He had his hearing aid out for the night, and hadn't noticed until Bucky gave him a little nudge.

“Hmm? What's wrong?” he asked, rolling over to rest his head on Bucky's thigh.

“You were there, for the Battle of New York?” Bucky asked, as clearly as he could.

“Oh. Yeah.” Steve kissed the expanse of skin. “We were.”

“Did you get hurt too?” Bucky asked softly, stroking Steve's hair.

“Say that again?” Steve asked, turning his good ear to face Bucky, who repeated the question. “Oh. Not really, I just broke my arm. Peggy got the worst of it.”

Peggy, of course, was mouthing 'no, he did,' where Steve couldn't see, and Bucky did some quick mental math to see who he needed to hug first.

'Both of them,' was the answer, and he gathered his lovers close, kissing one, then the other. “Oh, darlings.” Another kiss, savoring their combined warmth, four arms coming around him.

“Hush now, don't worry over us,” Peggy soothed. “Were you there?”

“No. I was visiting friends out in Far Rockaway, actually. 'Bout as far as you can get, without leaving the city,” Bucky admitted, and squeaked a little when Steve hugged him hard.

“Good,” Steve said firmly, and kissed his ear. “Safe and sound, just how I like you.”

“Which arm?” Bucky asked, and Steve held out his left. Bucky kissed the knuckles softly, then wrapped the arm around himself, snuggling into Steve's body and bringing Peggy with him. “Poor loves. I wish I'd known you then. Could've taken care of you, at least.”

“We did okay,” Peggy insisted. 

“Although I wouldn't've said no to having you around,” Steve teased gently, and tilted Bucky's head up for a kiss. “More years of this.”

“We'll make up for it,” Bucky promised, and got to work doing just that.


	6. OF COURSE Bucky still fell off of the fountain

“Hey, go sit on the fountain and I'll take your pictures,” Peggy said, giving her boys a little shove.

“Nooo, not the fountain of death!” Bucky protested, but let Steve drag him down.

“The _what_?” Peggy asked. “Smile, Steve. No, a _real_ smile. Even Sarah's doing better than you are.”

“She has gas,” Steve volunteered, and grinned down at his daughter. “Don't you, sweetie?”

“She's _smiling_ ,” Bucky argued, and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “Happy girl.”

“Oh, that's a good one,” Peggy approved, and came over to show them. Steve's head was up and he was smiling at the camera. Bucky was bent over Sarah in her baby sling, pressing a kiss to her forehead. It was disgustingly precious.

“ _Oh_ ,” Bucky breathed. “Send it to me, please? I love it.”

“Absolutely. Now, why is this the fountain of death?” Peggy asked, settling on Steve's other side and resting her chin on his shoulder.

Bucky groaned. “Ugh, it's so dumb. It was right after I moved to the neighborhood, I was just dicking around and tried walking around the whole rim of the fountain. Slipped and fell off, sprained my ankle. It sucked.”

“Awww.” Steve squeezed Bucky's shoulder. “Dork.”

“Shut up, it _hurt_ ,” Bucky whined.

“Poor baby,” Peggy teased gently, but her hand was light on Bucky's back, rubbing just a little. 

“And I had to limp home _all by myself_.”

“You're a martyr, you are,” Steve said.

“You're the only one who's nice to me, did you know that?” Bucky asked Sarah, who smiled sunnily at him in reply.


	7. The Requisite Pining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha remember when there were like whole chapters of pining and angst in the original? NOT THIS TIME Y'ALL. This is just a wee taste ;)

“Wait, shut up! Let me try again. I watched _tons_ of Doctor Who, I can get this,” Bucky insisted, while Peggy was actually prone with laughter.

Steve wandered in, Sarah in his arms, and regarded his daughter. “You're the only normal person who lives on this floor, you know.”

Sarah grinned at him, and smacked his chest with one tiny hand.

“No, it's great! Bucky's doing his best British accent for me,” Peggy insisted, giggling.

“I am _brilliant_ at this,” Bucky announced. “Far better than your American accent.”

“Okay, that was actually passable,” Peggy admitted, and Bucky punched the air in victory.

“Peg's old-timey Brooklyn accent is a thing of beauty,” Steve commented, and smirked at his wife. “Oh, come on, it's _amazing._ I think you gave Mister Lee heart failure when you tried it out on him.”

“Let me hear,” Bucky begged.

“No.”

“Please?” Bucky widened his eyes.

“I'm not gonna pick up an accent just so you can make fun o' me,” Peggy said, sounding more or less like a female Jimmy Cagney.

Bucky made a soft whimpering sound, and dramatically slid to the floor.

“Are you done?” Peggy asked, in her natural voice now, and prodded him with her toe.

“No. I can die a happy person now, you know that?”

Peggy sighed deeply, and Bucky grinned up at her. “You love me.”

“You _wish_.”

And that was the sting of it, wasn't it? Bucky was...if not in love, seriously in like. With both of them. And it didn't help when he could settle himself on their floor and lean back against Steve's legs. It further didn't help when Peggy put her feet in his lap for a massage, which Bucky cheerfully gave. (Although a one-handed one; he didn't quite trust the prosthetic with something this careful and precious.)

Still not helping was when he put Sarah down to sleep later that evening, giving her a little cuddle and singing to her in the dim nursery. “There we are. Fall asleep for your Uncle Bucky,” he murmured, almost disgustingly comfortable in the rocking chair, Sarah in her tiny green onesie snuggled up on his chest, wrapped in a soft blanket. “That's my little girl.” He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, and rocked them until she fell asleep, and then a little bit longer, since he could. “I love you,” he mouthed, and decided to be happy with what he had – two good friends, and their awesome baby. That was enough for anyone.

 


	8. Tropes Fall; Everyone Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. OH MY GOD this is so trope-y. This is predictable and obvious and there's a reason this is the longest chapter. It's *obscene*, you guys. I'm saving the subtlety for other stories.
> 
> 2\. I was tempted to cut it into two chapters and leave a cliffhanger, but I didn't. YOU'RE WELCOME.
> 
> 3\. Guys, H/C is my favorite and I am indulging myself, please forgive me.

“ _God_ Nat, you're a pain in my arse,” Bucky swore, as they headed out of the cafe. “I'll think about working for Stark, okay?”

“I'm telling you, you'd get the chance to play with stuff you can't even _dream_ of,” Nat swore. “You won't even need government clearance.”

“I could _get_ clearance. I think?”

Nat smirked at him.

“What? _What do you know_?” Bucky laughed. “That time I got arrested in college for protesting? That shit doesn't count and you know it.”

“I know. I just like roasting your balls about it.”

“Fuck _you_.”

“I bet you were the sweetest baby agitator ever.”

“Fuck you _so hard_.”

“You _wish_ ,” Nat said, and winked at him, and he threw up his hands.

“ _You_ wish,” he mimicked, and stopped at the crossing, waiting for the light to change. “I am a hot piece of ass.” He started walking when the light changed

“You are the human iteration of the eggplant emoji – Bucky, watch out!”

“What?” He turned, just in time to see the car cruising through the red light. “Fu--”

There was a curious feeling of flying, and he only had time to think that this was really bad, when he hit the ground.

“Bucky!” Nat raced over to kneel by him, and he was vaguely aware of her stretching up, screaming something along the lines of how she would unman the driver currently taking off down the street, then hovering over him. “No, don't move baby, stay still. You okay?”

“Yeah,” he groaned, and sat up with her help. “Nope,” he said, and lay down again before he could pass out. “Ow.”

“Shhh, lie there. You, call an ambulance,” she ordered someone. “The rest of you can fuck right off.”

“Nat, be nice, they care,” he mumbled.

“Shut up and don't hurt yourself any more,” she hissed, and he did. It was better to be still and quiet, for as long as he could. It hurt very slightly less, anyway.

 

“You got _hit_ by a _car?”_ Peggy yelled, stomping into Bucky's apartment.

“Sort of? Why are you here?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Steve asked, breathless and hard on Peggy's heels.

“Um. Yes?” He jumped a little when they all but threw themselves down on him where he was sitting on his sofa. And did more than jump – he may not have been _hurt_ , but Bucky was plenty sore. “Um, a little less enthusiasm guys?”

“You _are_ hurt,” Peggy accused, her eyes filling with tears. Bucky's heart dropped out of his ass and landed a good three floors below.

“Barely! Barely. Just a little sore. And I did just have two people land on me,” he pointed out, trying to give her an encouraging smile.

“How bad?” Steve demanded.

“Some bruises! A lot of bruises,” Bucky admitted at the glare he got. “That's all, I swear. Nothing broken, nothing that won't heal in a few days,” he soothed, one arm around each of them. “The guy wasn't going that fast, and I bounce. Apparently.”

He really wasn't helping, going by the looks on their faces.

“But you're okay? You went to the hospital, and you're definitely okay?” Steve asked, resting one hand on Bucky's shoulder, very gently.

“Steve, honey, I'm _fine_. I got a few x-rays to make sure, even. I'm pretty nicely irradiated, and kinda black-and-blue, but that's it.”

“Thank God,” Steve choked out, and cupped Bucky's face in his hands, and kissed him soundly.

Bucky made a soft noise when he pulled away.

“My turn,” Peggy demanded, and then put _her_ hands on Bucky's faced, and gave him an absolutely searing kiss.

“Guh,” Bucky intelligently contributed. “Wait, what.”

“Oh, come on. You're not dumb,” she said. “You must have figured it out.”

“Uh, yeah. We're crazy about you,” Steve offered. 

“And the feeling's mutual. Right?”

“Yes.” Bucky touched his forehead, where a bruise had been coming up for a few hours now. “Sorry. I just. Seriously?” he asked, his voice breaking.

“Oh, darling. Seriously.” Peggy, who was already half on his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed their cheeks together, murmuring in his ear. “We were going to find a way to tell you. Something you'd love, something romantic and fun and funny. And then Nat called to say you-- you'd been in a car accident and...”

“Shh, it's all right,” Bucky soothed, rubbing her back, his other arm still around Steve. “Don't be sad guys, please? I wasn't hurt.”

“But you could have been,” Steve said roughly, and he pressed a kiss to Bucky's cheek, then rested his forehead on Peggy's shoulder. “You could have been hurt, or worse. And you wouldn't have known.”

“I knew.” Bucky swallowed hard. “Believe me, I knew. But I thought it was just a crush, on all our parts, that it wouldn't go anywhere. That it couldn't. You're perfect together, and you've got the best baby in the world and I just...where would I fit in?”

“Right here,” Peggy said, her voice harsh. “You fit in right here, with us. And with our baby.”

“Who is where, incidentally?” Bucky asked, and Steve smiled into the kiss he laid on Bucky's cheek.

“Asleep in her crib. I brought the baby monitor,” he said, and pulled it out of his back pocket. Bucky smiled at the little black-and-white video, Sarah sleeping peacefully, arms tight around the little stuffed bear Bucky had found. She hadn't paid it much attention until Peggy had made a new arm out of some silver fabric, at which point she became inseparable from her Bucky-bear.

“Hi sweetie,” Bucky murmured. “Look at you, such a good girl.” He paused. “What's the _range_ on this thing, Jesus.”

Steve laughed, and set the monitor aside. “Are you kidding? Those things are made for McMansions. We could probably pick it up if she was like a block away.”

“Good grief.” Bucky smiled, and kissed them each in turn, short and sweet. “You really want this?”

“We really, _really_ want you,” Steve confirmed, and Peggy nodded, and turned Bucky's head to kiss him.

“We're willing to make a go of it if you are,” she confirmed.

Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah. I...yeah.” He closed his eyes, and hugged them both tightly. “If you're willing to try it, so am I.”

“Only if you're sure,” Steve said softly. “If you don't want this, we'll still be best friends. Nothing has to change.”

“Except for the part where you declared your, uh, serious like for me,” Bucky pointed out, and smiled. “I'm terrified as hell. That we'll get hurt, that we'll fuck this up, that it won't be right. That _I_ won't be right. But I'm willing to give it a go. More than willing.” He laughed, a little unsteady, and rested his head on Steve's shoulder. “God, it's been a day.”

“Sorry, we've got great timing, I know,” Steve said warmly. “But I thought I'd lost you. Lost any chance to do this,” he said, and pressed a long kiss to the top of Bucky's head. “Wasn't gonna give up any more time.”

“In that case, it was worth getting hit by a car,” Bucky murmured, and yelped when Peggy socked him one. “That hurt!”

“Good! You scared ten years off my life. Nothing is worth damaging a hair on your head,” she said, and kissed his arm in apology. “It might have taken another day, maybe two.”

“Maybe more. Shit like this isn't easy,” Bucky said, and sighed, relaxing against the two of them. “God, I adore you both. Wish I had a bit more energy.”

“Come and stay at our place tonight,” Steve invited. “Take the spare bedroom – no, for good reason. You don't want two other people bumping up against you all night.” He grinned. “We'll put the spare baby monitor in there.”

“Caring through surveillance? Eh, why not.” Bucky laughed. “Thanks. I'm not really s'posed to be alone tonight anyway.”

“And when were you gonna mention that?” Peggy demanded. “I swear, you're going to be the end of me, James Barnes.”

“Hey, I'm mentionin' it now,” Bucky said, and gave her his best grin, emerging black eye aside. 

“You think you're bloody cute.”

“I know it, doll,” Bucky teased, and laughed when she pinched him. “Jesus, I'm not black and blue enough for you?”

“Nope,” she said, popping the 'p' sound. “C'mon, let's get you into bed, you look like you're about to fall over.”

“I am,” he admitted, and stood up with their help. And stayed leaning on Steve.

“Go lie down,” Peggy said, her voice gentler than he'd ever heard it. “I'll get you something to change into, okay? Anything else you'll want?”

“The charger for my arm, please. And there's a bottle of painkillers in my messenger bag, those are pretty necessary.” Bucky concentrated on staying upright. “Don't need anything else. Thank you."

“You're more than welcome.” She kissed his forehead, good and gentle. “Go get as comfortable as you can, and I'll be right there, sweetheart.”

Bucky nodded, and limped to the door with Steve's help.

Once through the door, Steve paused and wrapped his arms around Bucky. “You okay to walk?” he murmured. “I can carry you.”

“Showoff. I'm okay. Just getting stiff. A little walk'll help.”

“Heh, you said 'stiff'.”

“Oh my God, how does Peggy not kill you? You are a child.”

“Aw she's just as bad. And so are you,” Steve said happily, still supporting Bucky as he made his way across the hall and into Steve and Peggy's apartment. 

“Guilty.” Bucky, didn't say anything more until Steve had him settled on the bed, and was kneeling to take his shoes off.

“Was that really real?” Bucky asked, very softly. “Have I really got you two now?”

“Yeah, you do Buck. Both of us.” Steve cupped his hand around Bucky's cheek, thumb barely resting on the bruise on his cheekbone. He tilted his head up and kissed Bucky, mouth open and warm, unbelievably good. A spark of warmth and softness and happiness in this shitty day.

Bucky was  _not_ going to cry. He was going to kiss back, and help Steve get his shoes off, and lie down until Peggy came back. They did give him a little privacy so he could change and get his arm off, and then were in the tiny, cosy room again, armed with a glass of water, the spare baby monitor, an extra blanket, three extra pillows, and one of Steve's hoodies 'in case you get cold.'

“Guys, it's April. It's not cold out.”

“Just in case,” Steve said, and slipped his arm around Bucky's shoulders, lifting him up just enough to give him another of those sweet, soft kisses. “And just tell us if you need anything at all.”

Okay, maybe he did feel a little chillier, without Steve's arm around him. And maybe he did let them tuck him in, the two of them packing the pillows around him so he was surrounded in soft things. And  _possibly_ he had started to hug Steve's hoodie. Maybe.

Peggy stroked his hair, and kissed his forehead. “We'll leave you alone now. But seriously. Anything at all, you just sing out. Promise me.”

“I promise. I'll be fine.” Bucky was going to hide from the monitor and cry for a little bit, actually, but then he probably really _was_ going to fall asleep.

“See you in the morning.” A few more kisses from each of them, and he was alone in the tiny room, barely bigger than his bed, but cozy and comfortable and perfect. Safe. Not full of him being thrown into the air, the feel of his body hitting the ground, the moment of terror, of _this is it this is the end_. 

And the feel of kisses still on his mouth, his face, the slight burn from Steve's five o'clock shadow, the smell of Peggy's perfume. God, his life.

He reached out and turned the monitor to face his bed, and flipped between the two channels. Steve and Peggy in the living room, Steve sketching and Peggy reading. Sarah fast asleep in her crib. Steve and Peggy. Sarah. His best friends, and something more now, too.

Bucky settled the monitor at Steve and Peggy in the living room, and settled down, wrapping his arm around the sweatshirt. God, every part of him ached, and he was exhausted and so happy and –

He slept.

 

“Morning you. You're up early,” Peggy said when Bucky hobbled into the kitchen.

“Mmmm. Woke up and couldn't fall back asleep.” Bucky yawned. “Coffee?”

Peggy laughed. “Sit down, I'll bring you a mug.”

“No, sweetheart you don't have to – uh. Thanks.” Bucky accepted the mug of coffee and sat at the table. Sarah was in her high chair, and it was total coincidence that he picked the chair next to her. Honest.

“Hi, baby girl,” he said, and grinned, reaching out to touch her cheek.

Sarah took one look at him and burst into tears.

“Oh my God,” Bucky said. “No, baby, shh, shh...”

Peggy came over and scooped her up, patting her back. “Oh, now, what's this? You know Bucky.”

Sarah just wailed, and Peggy bit her lip.

“What is it? What'd I do?” Bucky asked, trying to not feel absolutely heartbroken at being rejected by an infant.

“Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

“Uh. No?”

“Your face is looking a bit rough,” Peggy admitted. She shifted the baby to one hip and reached out, caressing his cheek. “You poor thing,” she murmured, and leaned over to kiss him softly. “Seriously, I think you landed on it.”

Bucky smiled. “Guess I look scary.”

“Or she's freaked out because she knows your voice, but the face is new.” Peggy gave Sarah a little bounce, and she quieted. “There we go, sweetheart. You know your Bucky, right? Right.”

“Poor little thing,” Bucky murmured, reaching out with his hand. Sarah tentatively curled her hand around his forefinger. “There we are. It's me, darling. I promise I'll look awful for just a little bit.”

Sarah made a soft, cooing sound.

“That's right,” Bucky murmured, and smiled when Peggy successfully handed her over. Okay, so he couldn't hold Sarah and drink his coffee at the same time. Soft baby smell was worth it. “Hi little one. Hi, yeah, you know me.” He cradled her close, and kissed the top of her head. “That's it. That's my baby girl.” 

Sarah gurgled, a little more content now, and snuggled up against Bucky's chest.

“Better,” Peggy approved, combing her fingers through Bucky's hair. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hurting,” Bucky admitted. “I took some pills, but they're only doing so much.”

Peggy made a soft noise. “We'll set you up on the sofa, then. Or would you rather be in one of the beds?”

“Peg, no, you have better things to do,” Bucky protested. “I can go home and get out of your hair.”

“I like having you in my hair, you know,” Peggy said, starting on breakfast. “Oh, Steve's out running, by the way. He should be home soon. Oh, here, I'll take her, you drink your coffee.”

Bucky handed the now-content Sarah over, and reclaimed his mug. “Are you absolutely sure I won't be in the way? I can babysit if you need to run out, at least.”

“James Barnes, we live in the future and have the internet. I literally have no reason to leave the house if I don't want to,” Peggy teased him. “Besides, Nat called me last night and said you needed someone to keep an eye on you until twenty-four hours had passed.”

“That woman is a menace,” Bucky observed.

“That woman is a _gem_ and you're lucky to have her.” Peggy paused, and came over to sit down by Bucky. “She said they found the guy that hit you,” she said quietly. “He was still drunk.”

“Oh.” Bucky took a long drink of his coffee. “That's good they found him.”

“She refused to send me a picture of his car, but apparently you at least left your mark,” Peggy said, starting to stroke the back of Bucky's neck. “Also you have a check-up scheduled on Tuesday.”

“I know _that_ one.” Bucky smiled and turned his head to kiss her wrist. “Thank you, honey. And I'll stay on your sofa today, but only because I would probably do that _anyway_.”

Peggy laughed and leaned in to kiss Bucky's cheek. “Well, you're not wrong. Oh good, Steve's home, I'll start the eggs.”

“Hey, you're up!” Steve came into the kitchen and leaned over to kiss Bucky rather sweetly. “Hi,” he murmured, and laid another kiss on Bucky's forehead. “How are you?”

“Pretty sore,” Bucky admitted. “Peggy's making me spend the day here.”

“Hardship for everyone, I see,” Steve teased, and stroked Bucky's hair. “You're okay for coffee and all? Good.” Another kiss to the top of his head, and Steve went to kiss Peggy hello, get his ass smacked for trying to hug her before his shower, and successfully lobby for bacon.

“My work here is done,” he said, and swanned out to shower and get changed.

“If I offer to help, will you let me?” Bucky asked, feeling a little pathetic.

“You can play with the baby if you want.”

Bucky made a face at Sarah, and winced when it hurt. “Looks like it's just you and me, kid,” he said.

Sarah made a happy sound, and Bucky melted, reaching out his hand for her to play with. “Such a smart girl,” he told her as she grabbed his thumb. “Such a big girl too, you're gonna be a year old soon.” His smile grew. “I'll have known you for half your life, little love.”

Peggy wandered past to top off his coffee, and leaned over to kiss the cheek without a bruise on it. “My darling.”

“Hmmm?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to kiss you. Since I can now.”

Bucky laughed and nudged her with his empty shoulder. “Pretend I'm hugging you.”

“Shan't. I've got my Bucky, and I wouldn't change him.” She tilted his chin up and kissed him soundly, squeezed his shoulder very gently, and went back to cooking. 

Bucky settled back in his chair, ignoring how much everything hurt for the moment, because he had already been kissed at least a dozen times, had a baby to play with, and coffee to sip when he could retrieve his hand. It could have been so much worse.

“Oh, Jesus. _Bucky_.” Steve had come back to his apartment with him, to help him get changed after the single most painful shower of Bucky's life.

Bucky was wearing only a towel, and this was  _ not _ how the daydreams of Steve seeing him this way had gone. Then again, in those daydreams, he wasn't fifty percent horrible black and purple bruising from neck to knee.

“ Oh, sweetheart.” Steve reached out and rested his hand very, very lightly on Bucky's side. “Are you sure you didn't break anything? This looks awful.”

“ Pretty sure.” Bucky swallowed hard. “They x-rayed my arm, my ribs, and my hip, to be sure.  Maybe a hairline fracture somewhere, but that won't show up yet .”

Steve sucked in a breath carefully, and pulled Bucky into a careful embrace. “We're so lucky. It could have been so much worse.”

“ But it wasn't.” Bucky was basically okay with this right now. Steve was big and warm and  _ safe.  _ And just because Bucky would have been just fine on his own, he wasn't going to  _ not _ appreciate the hell out of this.

“ Okay, let's get you dressed.” He hesitated. “Can you even get your arm on?”

Bucky looked at the prosthetic, and the straps that went across his chest. They would have criss-crossed the worst of the bruising.

“ Probably not,” he admitted. “Not for a few days.”

“ Okay. Uh. How much help do you need?” Steve asked a little awkwardly.

“ Mostly with shirts,” Bucky guessed, and went over to his dresser. Underwear and soft sweatpants he could manage easily, hissing when he had to move the hip with deep bruises. He got a big, soft Henley on most of the way, with Steve just helping him pull it down – and taking advantage to wrap his arms around Bucky's waist and kiss his cheek. Bucky got the bare sleeve pinned up, and set his prosthetic in its usual spot on his dresser.

“ Glad I kept in practice,” he noted, and smiled a little. “Y'know I didn't use any prosthetic at all for a good ten years after I lost my arm?”

“ I don't blame you. The non-enhanced ones aren't fantastic, are they?” Steve smiled shyly at Bucky's look. “I didn't do  _ research _ exactly, just...yeah.”

Bucky laughed, and kissed Steve. “You can ask me absolutely anything, you know that right? I've sat before review committees with no sense of tact, you can't come up with  _ anything _ I haven't heard.”

“ So do you...? With the prosthetic?”

“ Yes. And my  _ God _ does it feel good.” Bucky smirked at the look on Steve's face. “When we're ready for it, you'll find out yourself.”

“ Ngh.” Steve said.

“ Mmmhmm.” Bucky licked his lips, and wasn't surprised in the least when Steve wrapped him and they necked for a good few minutes.

“ Anything else you want to grab?” Steve asked, arms still around Bucky, and good  _ lord _ , it was like being hugged by a tank. A really warm one. That smelled really good. And made you feel incredibly safe.

“ Nah, I'm fine.” Bucky sighed, and rested his head on Steve's shoulder. “Sorry to be boring  _ and _ a pain in the ass, but I just want to become one with your sofa right now.”

“ You're not boring, or a pain. Bucky, don't ever think that. Promise me.”

Bucky smiled into Steve's shoulder. “Promise. But I really do want to lie down.”

Steve helped him limp back across the hallway – fuck, his hip may not have been really hurt, but that bruise went  _ deep _ – and tucked him under a light blanket on the sofa.

“ Better?” he asked, giving Bucky a little head-scritch.

“ Better,” Bucky agreed, eyes closing a little bit as he relaxed. Their sofa was huge, and he'd already taken a stupid number of naps on it. It was easy to rest, even doze a little to the sounds of the household. The fact that he got kisses and little caresses from whoever was wandering by at any given time – well, that just helped things along.

He made it to the table for lunch, like a real person, and got to absolutely glory in smugness when both Steve and Peggy had to run out quickly to take care of things at their respective jobs, and Bucky got to babysit Sarah. The fact that it was Sarah's naptime, and she spent the whole time asleep in her little carrier, did not dim his glee at being helpful.

Late afternoon found Bucky at least sitting up, his legs thrown over Steve's lap and Peggy, baby in arms, sitting on the other side, currently keeping his toes warm.

“ Thank you both, so much,” Bucky said, his head pillowed on Steve's shoulder. “You didn't have to take care of me all day...”

“ Except for the part where we care about you,” Peggy said, wrapping a hand around his calf and squeezing a little. “And want to keep you close, after a hell of a scare.”

Bucky laughed at that. “What's a little terror between friends, anyway. More than friends,” he corrected himself, and smiled at both of them. “We should talk about that.”

“ Ughhhhhh,” Steve droned.

“ You don't have to talk about your feelings if you don't want to,” Peggy said primly. “But we should at least figure out boundaries. If any.”

“ I'm open to anything,” Bucky volunteered. “ Um . Maybe not at the moment, but after the worst of the bruises heal...”

“I want to experiment,” Peggy said. “I don't want to go beyond kissing and above-the-waist touching unless Steve and I are together just now, by the way.”

Bucky wiggled his toes on her thigh. “Whatever you're good with, I'm good with. Steve?”

Steve ran his hand down Bucky's hip, just resting there. “I want to be careful,” he said. “Go slow. Not just have you around for fun in the bedroom, but have a relationship. You'd have to be willing for that.”

“Steve, I don't want anything else.” Bucky cupped his hand around Steve's cheek. “Sweetheart, I care about you. You could tell me you wanted a romantic asexual relationship and I'd start planning our first date that moment.” He paused and smiled. “I sort of am anyway.”

Steve turned his head and kissed Bucky's hand. “Not asexual. But romantic, yes. A full part of our lives, non-negotiable.”

“No negotiation needed. And I want to be careful too. You have a complete family, and I won't do anything to hurt it.” Bucky reached over and tickled Sarah's tummy. “How about you, miss? Do I have your permission to date your parents?”

Sarah gazed at him impassively, then turned over, mouthing Peggy's breast and clearly hungry.

“I hope that's a yes?” Bucky said through giggles, as Peggy hiked her shirt up and undid the nursing bra.

“I think it is,” she said warmly, and leaned up against Steve, who settled his arm around her shoulder, the three of them squished together on the sofa.

“Did I ever tell you I was engaged once?” Bucky asked softly, his head back on Steve's shoulder.

“No!” Steve and Peggy said at once.

Bucky laughed. “It didn't last very long. Just a month before she broke it off.”

“Who does she think she is?” Peggy asked, sitting bolt upright. “What was she doing, thinking she could do better than you!”

Bucky laughed harder. “Jesus, Peg, it's okay.”

“It is _not_.”

“Yeah it is. If he was married, we wouldn't get this,” Steve pointed out, and gave Bucky an absolutely _searing_ kiss to prove his point.

“You are not allowed to do that again while I'm fifty percent bruise,” Bucky said, but his eyes were pointing in slightly different directions, so he was pretty sure Steve was going to ignore him. “Ngh.”

Peggy smiled and bent over to kiss his knee, shifting the baby without disturbing her. “It's still not okay. What  _happened_ ?”

Bucky returned to using Steve's shoulder as a pillow, and wiggled his toes to make Peggy smile. “Daisy Johnson. I met her a year or so after I'd moved here, and we hit it off really well.  _Really_ well,” he said softly, smiling just a little. “I was absolutely crazy about her, and I think she loved me back, really. We dated for a year, and I asked her to marry me. Quick, I know, but...you know. Love.” He shrugged, and smiled when Steve hugged him a little tighter. Nothing big and dramatic went wrong, just...we were  _good_ together, without being right for each other, you know? Her job meant a lot of moving around, and I like New York. Traveling is great, but not as much as we'd have had to. I wanted a family sooner than she did.” He bit his lip. “Oh, I haven't told you.”

“ _What?_ ” Peggy demanded, and Sarah looked up from her meal, wailing a little in complaint.

“Sorry, I made it sound like some big, bad news, when it isn't.” Bucky smiled shyly. “And it doesn't matter to you guys at all, really. I can't have biological kids, is all. Or, rather, it's _incredibly_ unlikely.”

“Oh, Bucky.” Steve kissed him softly. “I'm sorry.”

Bucky shrugged. “I did my mourning. I'm not happy about it, but...it's not so bad, either.” He smiled a little. “The short explanation is that I have an apparently  _hilariously_ low sperm count, and what there is, is pretty much not viable.”

“Ouch,” Peggy commented, and rubbed his calf. “I'm sorry too, love. You're a natural with the little ones.”

“I always figured I'd adopt,” Bucky said and shrugged. “I would love to see someone with half my genetic material, but that's less important.”

Steve just smiled, and kissed Bucky's temple. “So you figured out you wanted different lives.”

“Yeah. I guess we could have made it okay, but she just...broke it off. She moved away a few weeks later, and is currently blissfully happy bouncing around the world.” Bucky nudged Peggy's thigh. “And I'm currently blissfully happy right here in New York, so it worked out.”

“She still gave up a bloody good thing, and I hope she knows it,” Peggy grumbled, but she settled down. “At least we've got you now.”

Bucky's smile was brilliant. “Yeah, you do.”

 

“Do you want to spend the night here again?” Peggy asked quietly after dinner. Steve was off changing the baby, and Bucky had returned to his spot on the sofa, his head now in Peggy's lap.

“Honestly? Yes.” Bucky sighed, and closed his eyes. “I really, really hurt, Peg. A lot. And it's all starting to hit, and I have basically no pride left and I _need_ you guys.”

“You have us,” Peggy said firmly, resting her hand on his shoulder, a point of warmth on his body. “My darling, we'll keep you safe and take care of you.”

“I'll feel better in another day or two.” He grinned up at her. “Peggy, I am going to hit on you _all the time_.”

Peggy laughed out loud at that one, and tapped his nose with her fingertip. “I look forward to it, handsome. Now c'mon, let's pick something to watch before Steve gets a say.”

Bucky gave her first choice, and curled up a little so there was room for all three of them on the sofa, and didn't even care that he fell asleep before Sarah did.


	9. It's a good thing Steve's a Morning Person

Steve woke up in the dim light of early dawn, muzzy and wondering for a moment if he'd forgotten and set his alarm.

“Daddy?” The not-very-quiet whisper at his side informed him that he hadn't.

“Hey, sweetpea.” Steve rolled over and smiled at his daughter, standing patiently beside the bed in her nightgown. “Everything okay?”

“Uh huh. Can I have a cuddle?”

“Of course, honey.” Steve helped her into the big bed and snuggled her close, only wincing a little when her icy feet pressed into his stomach. “Shh, we have to be quiet. Papa Bucky and Mummy are still asleep.”

“Kay.” Sarah's whisper still wasn't _exactly_ quiet, but it was a little better.

Steve rubbed her back and dozed off again, unbelievably happy at the feeling of his whole family all in one bed. He and Bucky and Peggy had started to talk about one day maybe having another child, and he daydreamed a little about how many kids they could fit in the bed with them. Definitely at least another one. (Maybe, maybe, he dreamed a little, maybe one with blue-gray eyes and brown hair, Peggy's mouth and Bucky's nose. Maybe, with IVF, with luck, with the joy Bucky deserved to hold his own baby boy or girl....)

Sarah played at tracing his tattoos with a tiny fingertip; the intricate stars on his arms kept her busy for a good long while, until Bucky started to stir beside him.

“Papa Bucky!”

It was probably good that Peggy could sleep through a war.

“Hey little bug.” Bucky mumbled into his pillow. 

Steve snickered to himself and rolled over, bringing Sarah with him. “Good morning, Papa,” he teased.

“And a smashing morning to you too, Daddy.” Bucky looked up and smiled, his expression going soft and silly. “Hey, don't I get a good-morning kiss?”

He got a bonus good-morning head-butt when Sarah got a little enthusiastic, but he got his kiss too – and one, slightly less violent, from Steve.

Sarah settled down between the two of them, clearly content with her lot in life. She started to idly trace the tattoos on Bucky's collarbone, the ones they all shared – a star, a rose, the Morse code for 'love'.

“Daddy, when can I get pictures?” she asked.

“When you're eighteen, honey.”

“How many years is that?”

“Fourteen more.” Bucky smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I think I still have some temporary tattoos, though. We can do that later today, okay?”

“Kay.” Sarah yawned. “Why's Papa usually in the middle?”

“Mummy likes being on the edge. And I like having Papa in the middle,” Steve explained, reaching over Sarah to rest his hand on Bucky's hip. “It means he gets cuddles from me _and_ Mummy all night."

“Don't you get squished?”

Bucky smiled. “Sometimes, a little bit. I like it though.”

“Squish _me_!” she demanded, and Steve laughed.

“Squish you? All right then.” He winked at Bucky, and the two men wrapped their arms around each other and hugged, Sarah caught between them.

“You're gettin' squished!” Bucky teased, and gave Steve an extra little squeeze, the tiny girl between them wriggling and laughing.

“Good squish?” Steve asked, once they'd loosened their hold on each other – just enough, though. They were still cuddled together, their daughter between them.

Sarah giggled. “Good,” she said, and yawned again, snuggling against Steve's chest. “Daddy, are you an' Mummy married to Papa?”

“Kind of. We are in all the ways that matter,” Steve said firmly. “Why do you ask, little bug?”

“'Cause if you're not, _someone_ needs to marry Papa, and _I_ will when I grow up,” Sarah declared.

“I'm gonna be an old man by then,” Bucky teased. “You sure you wanna marry an old man?”

“Uh huh. You give me temp'ry tattoos and you like bein' squished too an' you make pancakes with _honey_ ,” Sarah informed him, her eyes already drifting shut. “An' I love you. So I'm gonna marry you.”

Steve always did it enjoy it when Bucky actually melted down before his eyes. “I love you too, Sarah. So, so much,” he murmured, kissing the back of her neck while she drifted off again.

Steve wrapped one arm around her, and wrapped the other around Bucky, hauling him in for a proper good-morning cuddle. He wasn't the least bit surprised when Peggy rolled over and shoved into them, leading to another round of sleepy kisses and slow waking-up, their little family all together.


	10. It has been _0_ days since Bucky broke your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the story of how Bucky came out as non-binary to Peggy and Steve, set just after they formally start dating. It is not a particularly easy story -- Bucky is accidentally outed (though without malice), and he is very, very uncomfortable and afraid of this part of himself (although not particularly self-hating). His gender will be addressed in sweeter, happier ways in future, if you need to skip this chapter.

Bucky let himself into Steve's shop; he was early for lunch, but he could always hang out if Steve was busy.

“Hey honey,” he called, and Steve looked up and grinned at him from across the shop and okay, that wasn't fair. He literally _lit up_ the room. What. What was Bucky dating.

“Oh my God, Bucky! Hi!” A different voice piped up, from the big chair Steve was working over, and a friend of Bucky's popped up.

“Robin!” Bucky leaned over the counter and grinned at zir. “Hey, how's it going?”

“Awesome, Steve's hooking me up with some new ink. I didn't know you knew each other!”

“Uh, yeah. We're dating, actually.” Bucky grinned and ran a hand through his hair, trying not to blush.

“That is so awesome!”

“Small world,” Steve commented with a smile, going back to work.

“Yeah. Bucky and I both belong to this craft circle for nonbinary/genderqueer people. Well, technically it started as a meetup, but it's basically a craft circle now.”

Bucky's heart fell out of his ass and plummeted about sixty feet below his body.

Steve had paused tattooing, but more or less immediately went back to his rhythm. “Buck, you never said you were crafty.”

“Mostly 'cause I'm not.” I also never told you I was enby and now you hate me because I hid this for no good reason. Fare thee well, sunshine smile for me; there was no _way_ Steve would be okay with that level of concealment. “I just show up for the cookies.”

“I'm telling you, I'll teach you to knit. Your prosthetic has more than enough dexterity,” Robin argued, and Bucky tried to express to hir that he had exactly zero interest in knitting. 

“I'm a dressmaker, if anything, and even that's one helluva stretch.”

“Is not. He – oh, are you a he or a they today?”

“He is fine,” Bucky said, wondering if he could politely excuse himself so Steve would have to actually track him down to break up with his cowardly ass.

“Cool. _Anyway_ , Steve, _your boyfriend_ showed up in the most gorgeous dress last month, I literally almost died when I saw him.” Robin winked when Steve looked up. “You're a lucky dude, I hope you know.”

“Believe me, I know,” Steve said, and met Bucky's eyes. “I'm incredibly lucky.”

Could your heart break from forgiveness? Bucky's was. He managed to hold on and stay in the conversation until Steve was finished with the design on Robin's ankle. Bandaging, aftercare instructions, pay – Bucky still held on.

“I'll see you next week?” Robin asked Bucky.

“Yeah, of course.” Fuck, it wasn't hir fault. It was perfectly sensible that Bucky would be out to the person he was _dating._ (Had been dating? He wouldn't blame Steve in the least. He was gross and lying and ashamed of something he shouldn't be and just...yeah. Steve would gently let him go, and be very kind about it, and it would be better than what Bucky deserved.) Bucky hugged Robin goodbye, and meant it – it really wasn't hir fault that sie had outed Bucky. As with everything else related to being enby, it was all Bucky's fuck-up.

Steve had stripped his gloves off and tossed them and the paper towels he'd used while Robin and Bucky were hugging goodbye. He waited until the shop door had shut and –

Actually, Bucky was pretty sure he'd teleported around the counter to the front of the store. “Sit down,” he said, taking Bucky's elbow. “You're white as a sheet. C'mon, just over here – there you are.” He sat down beside Bucky, and...pressed on his back? What?

“Steve, I'm not going to pass out,” Bucky managed, while Steve tried to guide his head between his legs.

“You sure about that? I don't think there's any blood left in your face.” Steve let up, though he kept his hand on Bucky's back. “I'm gonna take a wild guess that you were just outed by your friend.”

Bucky nodded and hunched over, staring at the floor. “I'm mostly male,” he mumbled. “Except when I'm not.” Except when I'm...not  _wrong_ , but I'm afraid I'm wrong, and it's already hurt me before and it just keeps hurting me, over and over.

“Okay,” Steve said, and stroked Bucky's back. “Do you want me to forget everything Robin said about it? It can just be a slip-up, and I'll never bring it up again.”

Bucky shook his head. “It's part of who I am. I was gonna tell you, I  _swear_ . I swear, Steve, I didn't mean to keep it from you, I just don't tell most people, and it just kept...being easier not to come out to you and Peggy.” He looked up, desperate. “I'm so, so sorry, and you have every right to be angry with me, and I totally understand if you are.”

Steve's jaw actually dropped. “ _Angry_ ? Oh my God. Honey, no. I'm not angry with you at all.  _God_ no.” He squeezed Bucky's shoulder. “I'm a little upset with Robin that you were outed against your will, but I'm not angry you didn't tell me.” He smiled softly. “I get the feeling you're not super-comfortable with this part of yourself.”

“What was your first clue?” Bucky asked dryly, while his heart climbed back into his body. This could be rescued. Everything wasn't ruined, for once.

“Hah. Hey, is a hug okay?” Steve asked, and Bucky more or less launched himself into Steve's arms.

“Yes,” he mumbled into his boyfriend's shoulder, and Steve chuckled a little.

“Anyone ever tell you you're not real subtle, Buck?”

“Fuck you, I am as subtle as they come,” he said, and hugged Steve tightly. “I'm so, so sorry. I'm really fucked up about this.”

“I'm sorry it's a source of pain for you,” Steve murmured. “It doesn't change how I feel about you at all, okay? You're still my Bucky.” He smiled, and kissed the side of Bucky's neck. “You're always my Bucky, whether you're he or they.”

Bucky nodded, and hugged a little tighter.

“Who the fuck hurt you so much?” Steve breathed. “I'll punch 'em good.”

“Nah you won't.” 

“Whaddya mean, of course I will.” Steve pulled back and cupped Bucky's face in his hands. “I'll beat the shit out of anyone who made you feel bad because you're nonbinary.”

“My parents as good as disowned me when I came out to them.”

“Oh, honey.” Steve kissed him, then kissed his forehead, then gathered him close again. “I'm so, so sorry. You don't deserve that.” Another kiss, on his temple this time. “You have a huge queer family that loves you, you know.”

Bucky smiled and snuggled a little close. Possibly that meant that Steve, just possibly, loved him. Which he was fantastically okay with, but he wasn't going to ask right now. “I know. Robin's got no filter, but sie's part of it, honestly. I have a ton of people who...help.” Also I should maybe look into therapy, like everyone and their brother has told me to.

“Good.” Steve stroked his back. “I'm here for anything you need. And Peggy too, when you're ready to tell her.”

“Can you? Please? I know it should be me but...yeah.”

“Oh, sweetheart. Of course I'll tell her.” Steve managed to pull Bucky even closer, the two of them snuggled together on the little sofa. “You're hers no matter what gender you are too, by the way. Just in case you doubted.”

“I didn't! Not really – I mean, I didn't think either of you would reject me, not really. I'm just a coward about this.”

“Hey, no. No, you don't get to say that.” Steve's voice was deadly serious, deep, and Bucky swallowed hard because it was _doing_ things to him. “You are not a coward, James Barnes. You're _smart_. You're protecting yourself, because all of the evidence points to people you care about hurting you when you tell them. All of the evidence points to people who have different gender expressions get hurt because of them.” Steve met Bucky's eyes. “You were, you _are_ , protecting yourself and taking care of yourself, and that's the only thing I ever want you to do. Got it?”

“G-got it.” He really didn't want to cry. He _really_ didn't, not when he was about to have practically his first lunch date with his boyfriend, not when Steve was so earnest and just...Steve. Not when he...okay, he actually did cry attractively, so there was that.

Steve smiled, and just held him while he got himself together. They kissed a few more times, because why not, and cuddled a little until Steve's stomach audibly growled.

Bucky giggled, and kissed Steve's cheek, and they headed out for lunch, hand-in-hand.

 

**Steve Cell:** _Hey beautiful. I told Peggy about you being enby, just so you know._

**Bucky Next Door:** _Thank you so, so much. It's a huge relief now that you guys know, actually._

_**Steve Cell:** Good :) How're you feeling, btw? We walked a lot at lunch._

_**Bucky Next Door:** My hip hurts a little, but nothing too bad. I'm working in bed, I'll be fine._

_**Steve Cell:** K. You call if you need anything, okay? We can be there in seconds._

_**Bucky Next Door:** I am so tempted to abuse that for baby cuddles, you have no idea._

_**Steve Cell:** I wouldn't blame you at all. I've got Sarah in the baby sling right now._

_**Bucky Next Door:** Lucky boy!_

_**Steve Cell:** :P _

_**Bucky Next Door:** Thank you, Steve. You've been the best today. Thank you so much._

_**Steve Cell:** Take care of yourself, okay? And if you ever need a reminder that you're perfect and so many people care about you so much, Peggy and I will do that. You're wonderful, Bucky Barnes._

_**Bucky Next Door:** Thanks. I'll remember. xoxo_

 

_**Peggy Cell:** Bucky, Steve told me. I know you know this, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. You're still my Bucky, okay?_

_**Bucky Next Door:** Thanks, Peg. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before._

_**Peggy Cell:** It's understandable. You can always be whatever gender expression you want around us, okay? We're safe space._

_**Bucky Next Door:** I know. Thanks for understanding...everything. You guys are better than I could ever ask for._

_**Peggy Cell:** No less than you deserve. Come over and watch a film soon?_

_**Bucky Next Door:** Will do, I promise. xoxoxoxo Peg._

_**Peggy Cell:** Back atcha, kid._

 

_[A few days later]_

 

Bucky checked their makeup one more time in the mirror, concentrated on not having a panic attack, and went across the hall, letting themselves in to Steve and Peggy's apartment. “Emergency babysitter is here!” he sang out.

“Oh thank _God_ ,” Peggy groaned. “You're a gem, Bucky.”

“Yes. Yes I am. It's such a hardship to take care of this little miss,” Bucky said, taking Sarah from Peggy and giving her a little cuddle. “Hi, you.”

“Steve'll be home in about two hours,” she said, throwing some things in her purse. “You know where everything is, there's some carrot cake in the fridge that is _divine_ , and I'll put you up for sainthood when I get back, I swear.”

“Peg, it's really no problem at all, ever,” Bucky said, a little bemused. “Good luck with putting out the fires at work.”

“Ughhhh.” She kissed them, and paused. “Holy shit, your eyeliner is _on point_.”

Bucky cracked up. “I'll show you my trick later. Go on, you'll be late!”

But Peggy just smiled, and wrapped her arms around them. “They/them?” she asked softly, and Bucky nodded, and then she gave them the  _kiss of their life_ .

“Hrnk,” Bucky offered intelligently.

Peggy smirked at them, kissed Sarah goodbye, and let herself out.

“Your Mummy is gonna be the death of me,” Bucky informed the baby.

Sarah giggled and smacked their chest with her tiny hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	11. you are home, you daft thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story deals a lot with Bucky's nonbinaryness, and how they're not really terribly comfortable with it just yet. There's nothing bad, exactly, but it's not the happiest story I've ever written.

Steve let himself into the apartment, surprised to see the light under the door. He had worked pretty late, until nearly ten, and Bucky and Peggy usually were in bed by now. (He had given up on a social life since becoming a father. The fact that his new boyfriend was perfectly happy to curl up in bed and fall asleep, usually on him, by ten pm, was an absolute blessing.)

He came home that night, though, to the sound of laughter, and Peggy's make-up case spilled open on the table.

“Hi honey!” Bucky and Peggy chorused, and then broke down in giggles.

“Hey, sweethearts.” Steve came over and kissed them in turn, bemused and charmed and okay kind of in love. They were both wearing silky, flowing robes, and Bucky's hair was in a soft knot, a few strands falling around their face. Peggy's was loose, the ends curled, and her make-up was dramatic, and perfect. “God, it's good to be home.” He kissed them each again and settled on the floor, resting his head on Peggy's leg with a sigh.

“Long day?” Bucky asked sympathetically, reaching over and scritching Steve's head.

“Uh huh. Good, but long.” He smiled up at them. “You look amazing. Both of you.”

“Thanks. Bucky's teaching me all their makeup tricks,” Peggy said, rubbing the back of Steve's neck. “Oh, and we opened a bottle of cava if you want any.”

“Just a bit – oh, love, thank you,” Steve said, when Bucky poured him half a glass and handed it over. “Bliss. And Buck, you're really talented.”

“Nah, I'm just sad and spend too much time in front of a mirror with eyeliner,” Bucky teased. “We're having a regular old sleepover; Peggy did my hair.”

“It's gorgeous,” Steve assured him. “And really, you've got a good hand. How d'you get the cats-eye so nice?”

“Get up here and I'll teach you.”

“Okay.” Steve laughed and moved to sit between them, turning to face Bucky. “What do I do?”

“Watch me first, then you'll do it on me,” Bucky said, and turned around and settled against Steve so that they could both watch him in a little hand-mirror. “Okay, so the big thing is to not stretch the eyelid too much, that distorts things. See, I start with just drawing the lash line, and following the curve out. It's really easy, honestly; the shape of my eyesocket kind of shows you where to go. And then I draw in the top part, starting from just above my pupil – like that.” They drew on a beautiful dark curve, and quickly filled it in, blinking once everything was dry. “See? Easy.”

“Uh huh,” Steve said. “You sure you want me to try it on you?”

“Yup. It's easier than doing it on yourself the first few times,” Bucky assured him. “And it's not like we can't just wipe it off if you screw up.”

Steve smiled, and took another sip of his wine while Bucky wiped the eyeliner off. “Go for it,” they said, and tilted their head back, looking down.

“Oh God,” Steve joked, and Peggy peering over his shoulder was _not helping_. There was something intensely peaceful, though, in sitting so close to Bucky and drawing carefully on their eye. He made sure to keep his touch light and gentle, barely even resting his hand against Bucky's cheek.

“Not bad,” Peggy approved when he'd drawn the soft, curving lines.

“Let me see!” Bucky checked the mirror and grinned. “Steve, you did really good,” he said, and leaned in for a little kiss. “Now you gotta make the other one match.”

“Symmetry is overrated,” Steve informed them, but tried his best.

“Symmetry _is_ overrated,” Bucky agreed, upon seeing the result, and wiggled his prosthetic fingers. “I think I illustrate that nicely.”

Steve laughed and wrapped his hands around Bucky's metal hand, lifting it to his lips for a kiss. “You do, baby. Thanks for letting me play with make-up, by the way.”

“Of course. D'you want some? Peggy and I can do you up nicely.”

“Ooooh.” Steve leaned back against Peggy and smiled when she kissed his cheek. “Lipstick and mascara, please. Each of you can do one.”

“Sweet! I call lipstick!”

“You don't _need_ mascara,” Bucky complained. “Your lashes are insane.” They were smiling though, and leaned in to kiss Steve softly. 

Steve turned around and let Peggy do his lips. Not her brilliant cherry-red, though, but one of Bucky's lipsticks (and, okay, the intimacy of that might have gone straight to his dick), a soft reddish pink. His mouth was lush when she finished, and he turned to Bucky for part two.

“Tilt your head back for me, love, and look down,” Bucky commanded, and carefully applied mascara they'd taken from Peggy's box, because symmetry and shared intimacy was Steve's new kink. “There you are,” they murmured when they were done, and kissed his cheek. “Prettier than ever.”

“Thanks, sweethearts.” Steve settled down with his wineglass, stretching out a little one the sofa. It was cozy and comforting here, and he was glad they weren't all asleep just yet. 

Peggy curled up against him and rested her head on his shoulder. “When did you start wearing make-up, Bucky-love?” she asked as they started to tidy up.

“Becca would make me up when we were little,” they said. “I don't know if that counts? I liked it, though.” They smiled, a little sadly. “Maybe that was the first sign I am the way I am.”

“What, thoroughly awesome?” Steve asked, very pointedly, and Bucky gave in and laughed.

“Thanks. Um. With intention...I guess I was nineteen.” They smiled shyly. “I made a friend buy it for me. I was terrified of even just going to a drugstore.”

“Oh, baby.” Steve held out his arm and wasn't comfortable until he had gathered Bucky close, and both he and Peggy had kissed him. 

“Oh, whatever. I'm a little better now.” They snuggled up to Steve's other shoulder, though, and finished their glass. “It's nice, to have both of you to share this with. And I really liked it when you did my face and hair.”

“We'll do that more, then,” Peggy promised, reaching over and taking his hand. “We'll do _this_ more, too. I like just having a cuddle and a bit of fun.”

“I, too, like not being asleep hilariously early,” Steve said brightly, and Bucky laughed.

“Wait'll Sarah's a teenager and sleeping until noon on the weekends.”

“I will get down on my knees and thank _God_ ,” Steve said fervently. “You can drag her outta bed if you want for chores, I'll be enjoying the peace.”

Bucky's smile was  _breathtaking_ . “Hey, she can do her chores at ten o'clock at night, if it means I can sleep past six.”

“I'm with Bucky. You'll be the only one up before noon,” Peggy informed him.

“I shall enjoy my peace and quiet,” Steve said with great dignity, hugging his wife and lover. It seemed obvious that Bucky would be part of their family when Sarah was a teenager. Of _course_ they would be. You didn't lose a treasure like that. And you didn't treat being able to stretch out, relaxing back onto your beat-up sofa, a wife and a lover in each arm, lightly. Peggy and Bucky mirrored each other, curling against his body, their knees touching in his lap and heads on his shoulders.

Steve pressed a kiss into one set of dark hair, then the other, and genuinely thanked God because he had an actual armful of love.

“Do you wear make-up often?” Bucky asked, nuzzling a little closer.

“Not really. A bit of mascara and eyeliner when I feel like it, mostly. I like the lipstick though – your colors look better on me than Peggy's.”

Bucky giggled, and gave him a little, light peck on the lips. “You're gorgeous.”

“Eh, I'm okay, next to you two,” Steve teased, and gave Bucky a kiss right back. “I think I like the intimacy of it more than anything else. Gotta share you guys' stuff, since it's not worth buying my own.”

“Anytime,” Bucky assured him. “But Peggy's is nicer.” With the obvious implication that Bucky didn't feel right, buying the good stuff for themself.

“Hmmm.” Well, they would be doing something about _that_. Bucky deserved the best.

Something about that later, though, as both Steve and Peggy yawned simultaneously.

Bucky giggled, and kissed them each in turn. “Go get ready for bed, sweethearts. I'll tidy up a little in here and be right in, okay?”

“You're a gem,” Peggy said around another yawn, and kissed them. “And I've got coconut oil in the bathroom, if you wanna use that to take everything off.”

“Yes please, and thank you. Now get, before you fall asleep on your feet,” Bucky said, and firmly dispatched them to the bedroom.

Steve waited until Peggy had cleaned her face and they were both changed to grab her – he could hear Bucky in the bathroom, and guessed that even in their little apartment he wouldn't be overheard. “High-end make-up. I need brand names and Bucky's favorite colors.”

“Already ahead of you,” Peggy said crisply. “I ordered them a Sephora gift card earlier tonight, when they weren't looking. And they have, like, two shades of shitty eyeshadow, Steve _we can do better_."

Steve laughed and gathered her close, kissing easy and sweet. His wife was the  _best_ .

Peggy looped her arms around Steve's neck and they made out, tired and happy.

“Hey,” Bucky said softly, letting themselves into the bedroom. “You guys want to be alone tonight? I can just go home.”

“ _No_ ,” they said, possibly a little too loudly, definitely in chorus, and pulled Bucky into a three-way hug. Three-way kisses weren't actually as fun as they looked, but the moment called for one of those, too.

“You are home, you daft thing,” Peggy said, and Bucky's smile was something else.

“Just checking!” They laughed, and yawned, and Steve hugged them hard enough to lift them off the ground.

“Bedtime for us,” he decided, and he and Peggy crawled into bed while Bucky took their arm off, setting it on the spare charging pad that lived on Steve's dresser now, because Steve's life was actually perfect. They crawled into bed, and were promptly shifted to the middle, Steve and Peggy curling around them. Steve took a moment to hit the lights, and then added himself back to the cuddle pile, shifting so that he was pressed against Bucky's left side, head pillowed on his chest. Peggy might have gotten Bucky's arm around her, but Steve got extra kisses to make up for it, so Steve won.

“I love you both,” Bucky said softly. “I love you so much. Thank you.”

“Don't you dare thank us for being sensible enough to grab a good thing when we see it,” Peggy ordered sleepily. “You're wonderful, and perfect the way you are, and I love you.”

“What she said,” Steve murmured. “You're my Bucky, through and through, and you make my life better.”

Bucky pressed his lips to Steve's forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered again, and Steve thought about how Bucky had lost friends when they came out to them as enby. He thought about how Bucky had been all but thrown out of their family, their parents still not talking to them, all because they were a _they_. He thought about how shy Bucky was, how they didn't buy themselves nice make-up, and about the faint scars on their body, too straight and fine.

He thought about how he, personally, was going to make up for all of this by loving ten times as hard and thoroughly, by making sure Bucky always felt safe and beloved, and, this settled, Steve fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a direct follow-on, and I promise it'll be way, way happier.


	12. oh god teenagers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A follow-up to yesterday's chapter!
> 
> Note: I rarely interact with actual, living teenagers. (Slightly more with toddlers.) And when I do it tends to be ones related to me at the holidays, and my one cousin is kind of a shit, so I have largely made up Sarah based on wild guessing, and remembering what it was like to be her age but if I had Steve, Peggy and Bucky as my parents. For those of you with actual teenagers, I *am* sorry if I wrote some kind of weird magical unicorn 13-year-old girl.
> 
> Also I am fully aware that The Youth will probably not be using instagram in the future, but we'll just run with it for now.

Bucky leaned over the vanity they shared with Peggy and started to fill in their lip color, the tiny brush making it easy to emphasize their Cupid's Bow. They didn't even set a stroke wrong when a tiny body careened into their leg.

“Well, hello miss,” they said, and smiled down at Rebecca, who grinned up at them. She was wearing her diaper and exactly nothing else. Well, it was a warm day, so it wouldn't hurt her any.

“Can I help you with anything?” they asked, and she reached her arms up, so they hauled her up onto their lap, and went back to filling in their lip color.

“There you are!” Sarah said, sticking her head in the doorway. “Becca, _ugh_! You're supposed to be playing in the living room with me, not bothering Papa.”

“She's not bothering me,” Bucky assured her. “We've got awhile before we have to leave anyways.”

“Sorry. She just...runs. Really fast.”

“So did you,” Bucky said, and smiled when Sarah plopped down next to him.

“Yeah, but I didn't have an older sister who I was _supposed_ to be good for,” she  said. “Can I put on some eyeshadow? Please? Just a little bit.”

“Just a little bit,” Bucky agreed. “Here, I just got this, try it out for me.” They passed her the little compact, and Sarah squealed.

“Oh my God, this is the new Smashbox palatte!”

“Put it on and I'll take a picture for your Instagram,” Bucky instructed, one arm around Rebecca and the other doing their lashes.

“Thank you so so so so much,” Sarah all but shrieked, and quickly layered the subtle colors on, blending them with a fingertip. Between all of her parents, she was almost ridiculously skilled for someone barely into teenagehood.

“Awesome,” Bucky approved, and took the promised photo. “Did Mum teach you her blending trick?”

“Nah, Dad and I played around with chalk pastels last weekend. 'Bout the same thing,” she said, and Bucky spared a tiny tiny moment to be thrilled that she didn't edit the picture at all before posting it. Sarah had a pretty healthy self-esteem, but they worried – all three of them, but Bucky most of all. They would walk through fire to make sure their babies, Sarah and Rebecca both, were fully comfortable in their skin.

They finished off by pulling their hair into a messy topknot just as Rebecca squirmed down and ran off, father and older sister just behind her. The living room was its usual Saturday morning disaster area with five peoples' possessions, a small zoo of stuffed animals and sketchbooks and pencils scattered about. Tidying up was pointless until they were all done with the weekend, though. If then.

Bucky spared a moment to wonder how in hell any household with  _fewer_ than three parents got anything done. They had finely-tuned things to a practically military standard; Steve had gone into work early and Peggy was at the Farmer's Market doing their weekly shop while Bucky kept the girls from burning the place down at home. As soon as Peggy got home, they would hand the toddler off to her and take Sarah to her Saturday morning art school; the three hours there meant they could go to their craft circle for an hour, then pick Sarah up and have a late lunch with her before coming home. Saturdays were Steve's long days, so he wouldn't be home until late, but they and Peggy would watch the girls, possibly even clean a little, and trade off shopping and going out (alone, with one daughter, or occasionally with both if the other looked like murder was becoming a possibility) and watching cartoons as required.

Bucky threw their sewing project in a go-bag, one of about twenty that waited by the front door, and contemplated wrestling his baby girl into clothes.

“Don't even think about it, Papa,” Sarah advised. “I already dressed her three times today. It's just not gonna happen.”

Bucky laughed and gave Sarah's ponytail a little yank. “You're a gem. You got everything you need for class, hon?”

“Uh huh. _I'm_ ready to go,” she said, a little pointedly, and Bucky grinned.

“Be nice to me, I gotta look good for the Lutheran Ladies' Prayer Circle and Gun Club,” they protested. Sarah had gone with them to a few meetings, and very promptly come up with the nickname.

“Papa, you look _fine_ ,” she assured them, rolling her eyes. “I swear to God, you're all worse than actual teenagers.”

“'cause you'd know,” Bucky said sweetly, and got into a pinch fight with his daughter, because they were a mature adult like that. 

Peggy came home not much later and Bucky gave Rebecca a little cuddle and a kiss before saying goodbye, their miracle baby girl. It had been startling to see their eyes, their smile, on a tiny baby. They weren't ever going to be quite over it.

“See you around two. Are you headed out at all this afternoon?” Peggy asked, while Sarah got her things together.

“Nah, nothing planned. Why?”

“Can you watch the baby? Sarah's outgrown all of last summer's clothes.”

“Good grief, child, we're going to have to stop feeding you all that fortified cereal,” Bucky teased. “Of course, honey, I'll hold things down here.”

“Awesome. Have a good afternoon, loves.” Peggy kissed them and Sarah both, and they headed out.

Bucky dropped Sarah off at her class, had a gossipy good time at their craft circle, and picked their girl up, satisfied to see her happy, slightly covered in paint, and toting a finished acrylic-on-Bristol board  still life .

They got sushi for lunch; these post-class Saturdays were their treat, and their treat alone. Bucky still claimed that they had to make up for the six months they weren't in Sarah's life, and they were going to milk that for everything they had.

“Papa?”

“Hmmm?” Bucky dug through the pile of gyoza for the fried-est looking ones.

“Um. I know this is none of my business, but...are you enby more often? It feels like you are.”

Bucky popped the dumpling in their mouth and chewed. It really wasn't, exactly, Sarah's business, but it was also something that she deserved an answer to. She had definitely inherited Steve's herding instinct; they had all worried a little that she took too much on, fretted too much about things she didn't need to.

“I guess so? I don't exactly track it, but...yeah. I think you're right. Why do you ask, sweetie?” he asked carefully.

Sarah shrugged, and picked at her food. “I dunno. This isn't me awkwardly coming out to you or anything,” she assured them, and smiled a little. “I've got the queerest family on the block, and all.”

Bucky grinned back. “Hah, you win.”

“Oh my _God_.” She rolled her eyes. “It's just...I remember being really little, and watching you take off your makeup before we went out and stuff. What changed?”

“ _Oh_. Wow, you remember that far back?”

She nodded. “I don't remember before you met Mum and Dad, of course, but I remember a few things, from when I was a little older than Rebecca, I guess. Just images. I remember Dad looking really sad and hugging you while you took down your hair,” she said softly. “And I think you're a they more often than you're not, now.”

“You're really perceptive, you know that?” Bucky asked, smiling so she knew it was a compliment. “Look, you're right, this isn't _exactly_ your business, but you're asking really good questions. Let me think a little bit, okay? And eat at least some of the seaweed salad so  you don't get scurvy or something.”

“That's what the fortified cereal is for, duh,” Sarah said, but she ate while Bucky figured out what the hell to say.

“Okay, I'll give you an answer in a minute, but honey, why is this important to you?”

Sarah shrugged. “I dunno. It's just something I noticed. And I wanna make sure you're okay,” she mumbled, staring at her food.

“I'm okay. I _promise_. More than okay, actually.” And _oh man_ were they gonna talk to their spouses that night, because this was _not_ something Sarah should be worrying about. God, she was Steve's kid through and through.

Bucky really hoped that Rebecca, though she looked like Bucky, would get Peggy's sense. And intelligence, and basically everything else from her mother. No kid deserved the awful stuff that had made Bucky so miserable over the years.

Then again, they would die fifty times over before treating their babies the way their parents had treated them, so.

“You're right, that this used to be hard for me,” Bucky said carefully. “Really hard, and really scary. Your Mum and Dad helped with that a lot, and I saw a therapist for a long time. Maybe I am just feeling more enby lately; you know all that stuff about gender expression being a range, and something that changes, and all of that. Or maybe I'm more willing to dress in a non-gendered way. I'm a they a lot now, but I'm not so worried about the why. It's just...nice. To be myself.”

Sarah nodded, still bright red. “Kay. 'm sorry if I asked something I shouldn't.”

“You were bothered about it, and I'm really glad you came to me and asked,” Bucky said gently. “But you don't need to worry, sweetheart, I promise. I'm so proud that you notice these things, and care, but don't spent time worrying about me, okay? That's what Dad is for.”

Sarah groaned. “Ughhhhh, tell me about it.”

Bucky laughed. “He loves you, sweetpea. And you're his baby girl, you  _can't_ tell him to fuck off.  Unlike me and Mum. ”

“ _Ughhhhh_.”

Bucky laughed harder. “Sorry not sorry.”

“No, you're _not_.” Sarah glowered at him.

“You can have the extra mochi,” Bucky grandly offered.

“Can't you...do something harmless and get him to direct all his overprotectiveness towards you?” Sarah complained. “Take one for the team, Papa.”

“Sorry, doesn't work that way. Dad has infinite fretting. It's like his superpower. Remember when Mum sprained her wrist and you and I had to sit him down and remind him that _we_ were just fine? ”

Sarah made a miserable face.

“Aw, buck up kiddo. He loves you.”

“I _know_.” Sarah sighed. “Can we talk about not-heavy shit? I know I started it, just...”

Oh thank God, she was a real person. A teenager even.

“Yeah. Oh, hey, so latest round of gossip....” Bucky caught her up on the craft circle (which had approximately the drama levels of three telenovelas and two prayer circles _combined_ ), and Sarah made appropriate teeth-sucking and faces and cooing.

They walked home together after lunch, Sarah carefully just far enough away that it wasn't obvious they were together, and Bucky relaxed. A little. She was gonna be okay, their worrisome baby girl. They were always quietly pleased whenever she acted out or was whiny or basically was just a _kid_. In between sort of wanting to throttle her at times.

The fact that they were exactly 100% okay with the fact that they were wearing a dress over leggings, had their hair up and their makeup done and were walking down a busy street? Not even worth commenting on anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


End file.
